Some of them actually have a lot of truth to them!!!
> Zen Sarcasm
>
> 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
> 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
> 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
> 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
> 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
> 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
> 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
> 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
> 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
> 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
> 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
> 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
> 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
> 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
> 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
> 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
> 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
> 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
> 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
> 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
> 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
> Zen Sarcasm
>
> 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
> 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
> 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
> 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
> 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
> 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
> 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
> 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
> 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
> 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
> 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
> 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
> 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
> 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
> 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
> 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
> 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
> 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
> 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
> 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
> 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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