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  • Funny Tech Support Message

    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed the new program contained the module Baby 2.0 which unexpectedly began child processing. This module requires significant space and valuable resources.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run independently. When attempting to run the programs outside of Wife 1.0, the system crashes. How can I keep wife 1.0 in the background while running my favorite programs?

    I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but I cannot find the uninstall module for Wife. 1.0.
    Please Help!
    Thanks,
    A Troubled User

    ------------------------------------------

    Dear Troubled User:

    What you are experiencing is a very common problem. Many users have upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

    IT IS NOT...
    Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING!
    It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. Once the files are installed, they cannot be deleted.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is designed to block any attempts. PLEASE consult Wife 1.0 manual, Chapter 7 (Warnings) sec. 9 (Alimony/Child Support).

    We recommend you retain Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.
    The background application Yes Dear has proven to be very helpful in alleviating software conflicts.
    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE, as ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal function. Please note the Apologizecommand does not always take effect immediately.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. If you haven't explored the full benefits of Wife 1.0 we suggest you load the support package which contains; clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

    Be very careful how you use these support programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to Purchase additional software. We recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

    One final note:
    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support

  • #2
    loved it!!!


    97 ws6 6sp 40k miles 355 cubes strange s 60 rear 373 gears. other stuff! 360rwhp

    current
    2006 GMC Denali 6.0 AWD!!!! hers

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    • #3
      absouletly hillarious
      1997 Camaro Z28 Pacesetter Long tubes, ORY-Pipe, Accel 30# Injectors, MSD Cap & Rotor, MSD Super Conductor Wires, NGK Irdium TR55IV Plugs, and Borla Catback. Madtuner Tune, SLP High/Low fan switch, NGK o2 sensors

      New Longblock at 110,947 and everything above.

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      • #4
        Pretty funny!!

        She's Red and she's Rare.


        ~Black Beauty ~ Last 97 & LT1 Hawk

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        • #5
          Glad I'm only ready to purchase Girlfriend 3.0 in the next couple weeks. I'm gonna have to really think about Wife 1.0 some more. Thanks for the heads-up Kev.



          Steve
          79 FSJ - most expensive AMC Jeep ever Mods
          87 GN - its just a 6... Mods
          93 Z28 - slightly tweaked Mods
          http://home.comcast.net/~budlopez

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          • #6
            That's pretty good
            97 Chevy 'Raro Z28 M6- Ported & Polished LT1 heads,beehives,1.6/1.94 valves, 226/231 custom cam,K&N FIPK, 94-95 BBK shorty's,ORY,Magnaflow Catback,no cats,BMR LCA Relocation Brackets,Lower Control Arms,Adjustable Panhard Bar,Eibach Pro Kit,SPEC Stage 1,Walbro 255 Fuel Pump,30LB Injectors,Pro 5.0,Short stick,MSD 8.5's,NGK TR55's,LT4KM

            01 Honda CBR600 F4i-Two bro's,Corbins,SS brake lines

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            • #7
              glad i m still running Girlfriend x.0 and if any conflict arises between Girlfriend x.0 and Racing 1.0, 2.0 or 3.0 or car 3.0 i immediately proceed deleting or upgrading Girlfriend x.0

              Too bad that Regret 3.5 sometimes runs without permission and ruins my day
              93 t/a A4 3.23s
              95 Formula A4 2.73s >>>>93 t/a 3.23 , !AIR, !cat, !A/C, hotchkis lowering springs, kyb adj shocks, DD
              99 Camaro z28 a4, 2.73, !AIR, !A/C
              99 Alfa Romeo 166 3.0 v6, red
              97 3.8 v6 A4 camaro, hardtop
              93 Camaro Z28 M6, hotcam kit, 150 shot, twin plate clutch, eibach pro kit and bilstein shocks, swaybars etc
              00 audi a6 4.2 40 valve v8

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              • #8
                but then f-body.com 2.0 comes in and makes it better and GFx.0 downloads money 1.0



                oh man, some1 stop me now, im cruising for a hurtin
                2009 Honda Civic EX- the daily beater

                old toys - 1983 trans am, 1988 trans am, 1986 IROC-Z, 2002 Ram Off-Road, 1984 K10, 1988 Mustang GT, 2006 Silverado 2500HD

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                • #9
                  My Wife 1.0, along with kids 3.0 must have a glitch. I was able to purchase T/A 5.7 this year. As you probably guessed, I'm not planning on having that glitch patched any time soon.
                  SOLD: 2002 Trans Am WS.6 - Black on Black - 6 Speed
                  SLP Loudmouth Exhaust
                  17K Miles

                  2005 Acura TL - Silver on Black
                  Navigation - Surround Audio - Bluetooth

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by 02 WS6
                    My Wife 1.0, along with kids 3.0 must have a glitch. I was able to purchase T/A 5.7 this year. As you probably guessed, I'm not planning on having that glitch patched any time soon.
                    No, but you should really consider upgrading the TA version 5.7 to version 6.27, often called 383! It is much more powerful!

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