now heres how to treat a minivan!

[wolfdogs]

http://www.wimp.com/destroyed/

[Christopherrr]

You can't even tell what it is at the end! Cool!

[Steel2686]

Great vid, Ken.

Those things are awesome. They have one at our big metal junkyard here in CT. It's at LaJoie's Auto Wrecking in Norwalk (Randy LaJoie's Father owns it). The best piece of equipment they have is a giant car chipper. They throw the entire car, engine and all , into this big chipper. It's loud as anything, but an awesome sight.

[fastTa]

That should be done to every stinkin' minivan ever made!

Awesome vid!

The Slash Buster!

[TODD 2000 V6 CAMARO]

Hmmm....I wonder if it likes rice?

[thenuge876]

I hear rice is its favorite!! haha very cool vid ken!

[fastTa]

This thread got kinda quiet........maybe there are some minivan owners on here! LOL

[TraceZ]

This thread got kinda quiet........maybe there are some minivan owners on here! LOL

no comment.

[fastTa]

Someone once said, “one’s car reflects one’s persona.” The person who said that is probably dead or living in a shack somewhere in Arkansas. Alright, I confess, I said it. But the point of the quote is that a lot can be said about someone just by judging his or her car. For example, if you see someone driving an SUV, they are probably a middle-class suburban two-child resident with a nice house, a steady job, and a large gas bill. Someone who drives a new Volkswagen Beetle likes knitting and kittens, and would cower in fear if you asked him or her for money. Someone who drives a PT Cruiser is legally blind, or a mortician. But what about a less-fortunate, lesser-known minority whose very mental image inspires giggling and snickering? No, not Canadians. The group of which I am speaking is: teenagers who are stuck driving their parents’ minivan.

These misguided teens are not minivan drivers by volition, but by an odd chance of fate. They either simply cannot afford another car, or have no other transportation options. I do not blame this meek people for not choosing public transportation to hide their secret from the public eye, for those riding the bus are ridiculed even more for not having a car of their own, or even a minivan. Yes, these unfortunate teens are at the mercy of a vengeful God – a God so malicious and malcontent to have invented Adolf Hitler, Bob Saget, Carrot Top, and the detested “Singing Big Mouth Bass” in the same century – leaving no alternative better than being scorned by an unaware public. In high school, social rank can definitely be measured by a vehicle one drives. Driving a van is barely better than riding the bus or carpooling, but it still leaves these van-bound victims in the dregs of the proverbial coffee cup of life.

The deplorable issue is that this widespread scoffing of minivan drivers occurs, not only in the under-nineteen demographic, but just about everyone who is capable of breathing. Van drivers are constantly passed and cut off, even when driving the exact same speed as all the other cars on the freeway. It is as if, upon seeing a minivan ahead on the road, a primitive response triggers the driver to slam his or her right foot onto the gas pedal until the nefarious van can be seen in the rear-view mirror. My friend, a fellow van driver, and I, seated in the passenger seat, were driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic on a one-lane road, when a car behind us decided to pass us. I reiterate: a one-lane road with bumper-to-bumper traffic, and someone feels the need to pass us, as if this act will somehow clear all traffic within the next twenty miles. It is truly amazing that society has not decided to eradicate this innocent group off the face of the earth to fulfill its insatiable desire for carnage, destruction, and situational comedies about homosexual people.

The amazing characteristic of this group is that there are no intrinsically defining attributes of its members. Minivan drivers surely do not advertise their affiliation for fear of mockery and violent riots. I have seen a van overturned and consumed in flames incited by one man’s love of the bulky and unappreciated minivan. Minivan drivers have been encouraged to integrate and camouflage as well as possible into regular society, and some refuse to discuss cars with other minivan drivers altogether.

Minivan Driver: “Hey guys.”

Kid #1: “Hello, fellow non-minivan driver. We’re going to go knock over minivans in the parking lot today. Want to come?”

Kid #2: “Yeah, it’s going to be fun. There is going to be minivans. And we’re going to knock them over! Vans don’t knock themselves over!”

Kid #3: “I like pudding.”

Kid #1: “Shut up, Kid #3.”

Kid #3: “I have a name, you know.”

Minivan Driver: “Uh, I can’t knock minivans over today. I have, uh, soccer practice.”

Kid #1: “That’s a shame. At least you don’t drive a minivan.”

Minivan Driver: “I sure don’t. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a minivan.”

This is just a small excerpt from the instructional video “How To Hide Being A Minivan Driver”, designed to help unfortunate children cope with being victims of society. Hopefully, more videos like this one will help the group cope with constant criticism and violent attacks.

Other members have chosen a more tenacious route. A few “van gangs” have been spotted around school campuses, roughing up the intimidating 98% population of teenagers who drives Honda Civics. Naysayers of minivans have been seen hanging from flagpoles by their underpants with “VAN PRIDE” tatooed on their stomachs, no doubt the work of the fearsome van gangs.

“I’m just trying to make it through school,” commented a fellow van driver, who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of discrimination. “I don’t want anyone to find out my secret. Once I graduate college, I hope to buy a nice Toyota Camry or a Ford Escort. I just want to blend in when I’m on the road!”

Hopefully, one day the van drivers and the non-van drivers can come to a peaceful agreement. Until then, this small group will continue to cope with precariously existing in an environment rife with hate and misunderstanding. I wish you luck, for I am a minivan driver, and I will fight for my rights to the end of the earth.

[TraceZ]

There is only one word that justifies a minivan.


"kids"

With 3 little ones, all requiring bulky car seats it is about impossible any other way.

We had a SUV while we had only 2 kids. That 3rd kid changed things a bit.

I used to swear I would never drive a minivan. Dear God, what have I done?

[phastls1]

There is only one word that justifies a minivan.


"kids"

With 3 little ones, all requiring bulky car seats it is about impossible any other way.

We had a SUV while we had only 2 kids. That 3rd kid changed things a bit.

I used to swear I would never drive a minivan. Dear God, what have I done?

Sounds like you need a Caprice Station Wagon...LT1 power and seating for 9...if you were around here, I'd sell you one, cheap...lol

[TraceZ]

Sounds like you need a Caprice Station Wagon...LT1 power and seating for 9...if you were around here, I'd sell you one, cheap...lol

No way. You ever try climbing into the back seat while on the highway? With a van it is easy. The baby starts ing and Tami can just flip up her armrest and go help him out.

What would she do in a station wagon? climb over the seat(s)? Yeah, she'd be thrilled about that! Also, we need something newer for reliable family transportation. A mid-90s wagon would not cut it.

I wish my Camaro had half the build quality our minivan has. Its chasis is solid and quiet. The interior is silent. It is a very comfortable highway cruiser for family trips. Replace it with a 10 year old station wagon with more miles, less quality, less comfort and less reliability?? That is funny!

[ConElite]

Hmmm....I wonder if it likes rice?

Aw. come on now... lol... I hope i dont fall into the rice catagory

[phastls1]

No way. You ever try climbing into the back seat while on the highway? With a van it is easy. The baby starts ing and Tami can just flip up her armrest and go help him out.

What would she do in a station wagon? climb over the seat(s)? Yeah, she'd be thrilled about that! Also, we need something newer for reliable family transportation. A mid-90s wagon would not cut it.

I wish my Camaro had half the build quality our minivan has. Its chasis is solid and quiet. The interior is silent. It is a very comfortable highway cruiser for family trips. Replace it with a 10 year old station wagon with more miles, less quality, less comfort and less reliability?? That is funny!

Maybe it's not as convient in some areas, but it is definitely comfortable...and as far as reliability...it's apparent that you have no experience with the B-body cars...they are unquestionably the most reliable vehicles I have ever dealt with, and that even includes Honda vehicles...

[TraceZ]

Maybe it's not as convient in some areas, but it is definitely comfortable...and as far as reliability...it's apparent that you have no experience with the B-body cars...they are unquestionably the most reliable vehicles I have ever dealt with, and that even includes Honda vehicles...

Convenience:
get 3 small kids, go on a 2-day road trip and then come talk to me.

Reliability:
I've owned 3 LT1 cars and know exactly what issues are common with them. In no way will a 10 year old LT1 b-body be as relaible as our 3 year old Dodge.

You can't win this one, man. As far as highway/city comfort and convenience with kids goes the minivan has the station wagon beat in every way.

Wanna know something scarry? With the "sport package" that includes 4 wheel disk brakes, Alloy wheels, larger diameter front brakes and larger diameter anti-sway bars a Dodge Grand Caravan actually handles fairly well too.

My brothers van has the sport package and mine does not. It is a night and day difference. His van is much more capable than mine. If I had known what a significant improvement it made I would had gotten it on my van too. I figured "who needs a sport package on a minivan". I thought it was silly. Too bad I didnt bother to test drive one.