What's the stupidest thing a ricer has ever told you???

[Mark B]

This should be fun.
(Stole the idea from another board)


I had one tell me that his muffler & tip added 20hp to his neon. When I tried to explain that I would be surprised if an entire cat-back gave him that gain, he explained to me how a muffler is worth more hp than "just a cat-back." I stopped talking at that point.

[Performin Norman]

Raced an SRT4 from a dead. I was in my 02 Z06. He pulls up next to me at the next light. Wow, that thing sure got me. What gears do you have? All 6M Corvettes came with 3.42s. Ok then. I know I'll get you on the highway. I pointed forward and said "The highway is right there".

[Steel2686]

Haha @ Norm. Nice one!

I dusted a Civic, light-to-light, on a 1/8th stretch a few months back. He pulls next to me and says "You're lucky I haven't installed my 16 LB turbo yet". I replied "Why does that make me lucky? You would have still lost, and needed a valve job to boot". He gave me the finger and turned right at that light.

[Joe 1320]

A guy that worked with me ended up next to me in traffic when I was driving my T/A. I just leisurely accelerated until about 30 when I just hit it for a couple of seconds to get past some traffic and merge into another lane. When I got to work, he arrived about a minute later and said:

Ricer: "Did you see how I kept up with you though first gear?"
Me: "uhhhh, you were racing?"

[Kevin - Blown 95 TA]

I had a ricer tell me my car was 'old technology' without knowing anything else about it, but when he found out that I hooked a laptop to it for tuning, etc. he was really surprised like he didn't know we could do that.

On the other hand, I had a owner of a '69 Roadrunner tell me he bored out his 383 to 500+ cubic inches and didn't stroke it or anything. Tracy was standing right there when he said it. We just looked at eachother like WTF?

I also had the owner of a '73 Mustang with a 351C tell me he had it bored out to '428 Cobra Jet specs'. I know he never had any work done to it because the starter motor was falling off and he had to jiggle the ignition switch to get it to start - basically he was to stupid to be able to tighten the starter up.

I must look gullible - people always tell me this kind of crap And it isn't just ricers saying stupid stuff, either.

[ryan34]

Well both these times were in my friend Dakota R/T. First some guy in a civic gets owned and when he finally catches up he goes....this is just a four cylinder So we look at him and say, this is just a truck

And another guy has this turbo probe....could really hear the BOV, guy hangs with us from a roll.....but refuses to race us from a stand still. We finally talk enough smack to get him to race us and he gets sucked up and pulls up and says "i only have an exhaust, you shoulda killed me" Im sure that thesqueeling and the whale surfacing sound were just sound effects . Well we called him out on it and he just proceded to speed away after flipping us off. LOL, this is fun

[Z Ya Later]

Not quite as impressive, buuuuuut...

Shortly after I got the Z, I was on my way home and sitting at a red light. As I'm , this goober in a late-90's GT pulls up, revs a couple times at me (yeah, whatever dude ) and turns right. Then, his buddy pulls up in a fox-body LX 5.0 and starts revving and revving and revving. I give him one rev of my stock exhaust, which is then followed by silence . He finally pipes up with "I can't help it, I like fifties" and makes his turn. Loser lol

[fastTa]

Silly Dom. "You almost had me? You never had me - you never had your car... Granny shiftin' not double clutchin' like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of naaaaas didn't blow the welds on the intake! You almost had me?"

[Christopherrr]

Silly Dom. "You almost had me? You never had me - you never had your car... Granny shiftin' not double clutchin' like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of naaaaas didn't blow the welds on the intake! You almost had me?"

It's scary that you know those lines by heart, Kevin.

I, that goodness, have never been approached by rice. I think they are afraid to. I tend to the point and laugh though. LOL!

[Nightrage]

The other day, my neighbor's buddy was telling me how his brother just bought an SRT-4. He told me that they raced (and beat) a couple of 350Z's, a G35 and all manner of Mustangs. The SRT 4 is bone stock too. That was good for a laugh.

Also, I've noticed clueless Mustang drivers seem to have a fetish with having 450 horsepower. My old boss had a Mach 1. "Yeah, it has 450 horsepower! It's got headers, Flowmasters...uh...the K&N filter is good for another 20 horsepower, pulleys, a chip...". My co worker has a 93 Cobra which he described as basically stock. That had 450 horsepower too

One of my friends almost bought a CAI for his Sebring because his friend told him he'd get 30 horsepower from it.

[TraceZ]

I've never had a ricer mess with me. There's tons of them around, too.

Maybe the sound of the Borla and the wide tires are enough to scare them off?

Wait till they hear the headers!

[Black97]

I've never had a ricer mess with me. There's tons of them around, too.

Maybe the sound of the Borla and the wide tires are enough to scare them off?

Wait till they hear the headers!

Maybe you should stop wearing that silly Cheese hat when driving around. Maybe they take you more serious then.

Working all over the place I hear many stories and usually don't even bother to question them. Let them live with their stories. Whatever makes them happy.

[Dave Vince]

Ricers

Very limited experience with ricers except at the strip, where I would pick on them when I could. I ran a few on test nights with the Nova and beat them so bad they never said a word to me. The track always let us go solo when we ran the Beretta on test nights, would have liked to put down a few dragsters with that, but they never matched us up with any thing. Safety reasons I guess.
Ricers with the fart can exhaust neon lights and big wings are racing wannabees who are mostly know nothings. The real import racers don't put that fast and furious garbage on thier cars. When is hollywood ever going to learn anything about drag racing and cars in general. I have yet to see a movie that depicts drag racing in almost anything that resembles reality.
The stupidest thing ever said to me was from a guy who just opened a speed shop. He was talking about a local 1/8th mile track and said they were running in the 2s????? last weekend??? I went there for his grand opening because my cousin knew him and I still had the Pro Mod then. He had seen pictures of my car so he should have known I was knowledgable about drag racing. When he said that idiotic statement I said "what was that" in astonishment and he repeated his moron statement. It was the last time I saw or spoke to that idiot.

[ryan34]

The stupidest thing ever said to me was from a guy who just opened a speed shop. He was talking about a local 1/8th mile track and said they were running in the 2s????? last weekend??? I went there for his grand opening because my cousin knew him and I still had the Pro Mod then. He had seen pictures of my car so he should have known I was knowledgable about drag racing. When he said that idiotic statement I said "what was that" in astonishment and he repeated his moron statement. It was the last time I saw or spoke to that idiot.

What He could only get 2's in the 1/8th...I run that in the 1/4. Just wait till i get my turbonator and turbo noise maker for my exhaust....talkin mid 1's

[fastTa]

TF dragsters and funny cars run 2.0xx's at the 1/8th.

But, it would be highly unlikely that you would see a pro fuel team bring their car to an 1/8 mile track.