Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very
upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in
order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
daughter into the emergency room right away.
Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful
in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took
it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard
helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated
when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
Boeing.
Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in
this bag." While standing in line,
to give his note to
the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write
the note and might call the police before he reached the
teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would
either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK"
and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was
in line back at Bank of America.
Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his
car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a
photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from
the police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier
put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he
wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag
as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't
believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk
still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and
agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch
in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that she got off the license. They
arrested the robber two hours later.
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder
block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder
block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The
whole event was caught on videotape.
Now all we need are the Darwin Awards of 06!
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very
upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in
order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
daughter into the emergency room right away.
Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful
in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took
it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard
helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated
when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
Boeing.
Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in
this bag." While standing in line,
to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write
the note and might call the police before he reached the
teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After
a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would
either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK"
and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was
in line back at Bank of America.
Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his
car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a
photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from
the police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier
put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he
wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag
as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't
believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk
still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and
agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch
in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that she got off the license. They
arrested the robber two hours later.
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder
block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder
block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The
whole event was caught on videotape.
Now all we need are the Darwin Awards of 06!
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