I got this in an email today and thought of y'all first!! HILARIOUS!!!

[zebragirl83]

If this has been posted before I apologize in advance!!!

FACTS TO PONDER:


(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now think about this:

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.

(Yes, that's 80 million..)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188

Statistics courtesy of the FBI

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So, statistically, doctors are approximately

9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,

BUT

ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets completely
out of hand!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Out of concern for the public at large,

We have withheld the statistics on lawyers

for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention

[Jeff_in_Atl]

No but it deserves to be posted again.

I'm still laughing about calling someone "Trigger" LOL

[bru333]

lol I always enjoy reading that!

Hmm... appears to be kinda old though.

Firearm accident deaths are at an all-time annual low. In 2004, there were 649 such deaths nationally. Firearm accident deaths have been decreasing for decades. Since 1930, their annual number has decreased 80%, while the U.S. population has more than doubled and the number of firearms has quintupled.

I thought this was really interesting: http://www.nsc.org/lrs/statinfo/odds.htm

[Trash man]

wise man once said "guys dont kill people, husbands who come home early do"

[Dave M]

Lifetime odds of dying by: Inhalation of gastric contents: 1 in 9,537

WTF?

[Joshu]

Lifetime odds of dying by: Inhalation of gastric contents: 1 in 9,537

WTF?

I think that might be choking to death, not sure though.

[Dave M]

To me it means that you puked and then suffocated in your own puke, which sometimes happens if you're passed out drunk or otherwise unconcious. Seems like an awfully high chance of that happening though. JUst thought it was disgusting.... and not exactly rare.

[zebragirl83]

To me it means that you puked and then suffocated in your own puke.

Sound like dying from smelling your own flatulence to me!... Which I could TOTALLY understand a few of my guy friends doing!!! Couldn't resist...

[Rhode Island Red]

I thought this was really interesting: http://www.nsc.org/lrs/statinfo/odds.htm

You have some weird favorite links ... you remind me of a young Wednesday Addams

[zebragirl83]

Again I apologize if this has been posted before, but I loved this one too!!

It's kind of old too considering the cost of an oil change is nowhere close to $25!

Oil Change instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change
$25.00

Coffee $1.00

Total $26.00

================================================== ==
Oil Change instructions for Men :

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.

2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19) Remember drain plug from step 11.

20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21) Drink beer.

22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.

25) Begin cussing fit.

26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

28) Beer.

29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30) Beer.

31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

32) Beer.

33) Lower car from jack stands.

34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.

35) Beer.

36) Test drive car.

37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

38) Car gets impounded.

39) Call loving wife, make bail.

40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:

Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $20.00

Total -- $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!

SEND THIS TO WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH......

AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.....

[bru333]

You have some weird favorite links ... you remind me of a young Wednesday Addams

lol...What I find weird is that someone got paid to compile all those statistics...

and that isn't a "favorite link", just found it searching for current accidental firearm death rates. My favorites are in my sig...

[Z Ya Later]

Hey, I can honestly say I have never thrown a crescent wrench out of frustration. I may have swung one though at something...but I'm not at liberty to say lol

[sneitzel]

A friend's Dad was "supervising" (read sarcastically telling us what we were doing wrong while consuming a frosty malt beverage) our installation of an engine in another friend's 78 Camaro and he claimed there were 2 types of mechanics: Those who cuss when something doesn't go right and those who throw tools. My friend proved him wrong a little later by showing a third type, one who does both.

I have chucked a tool or two in my time (and made up a few new curse words I think) but I have found when it's my high dollar Snap-On ratchet in my hand that urge doesn't seem to be as strong as when it's a cheapo knock off.....Hmmmmm.....

[Z Ya Later]

A friend's Dad was "supervising" (read sarcastically telling us what we were doing wrong while consuming a frosty malt beverage) our installation of an engine in another friend's 78 Camaro and he claimed there were 2 types of mechanics: Those who cuss when something doesn't go right and those who throw tools. My friend proved him wrong a little later by showing a third type, one who does both.

I have chucked a tool or two in my time (and made up a few new curse words I think) but I have found when it's my high dollar Snap-On ratchet in my hand that urge doesn't seem to be as strong as when it's a cheapo knock off.....Hmmmmm.....

Yeah, funny how that works, huh?

[Steel2686]

Although, the cheap knock-off is more likely to break when throwing it.