Venting, Need opinions! (long)

[ConElite]

Well Around 3 months ago I took on a new position here at work. I used to work in a Customer Service office and I came to the Production plant at my company. I used to work 8am-4:30pm Mon-Fri. Gave me great ability to have a nice social life and all that. Was not making all that great of money and with my TA gas and repairs were getting a little hard. Plus I have about $5k in credit card debt. I just turned 22. Single

SO I got this new position as a lead on the Shipping docks. Starts off on Mondays and ends Saterday mornings. 6pm-around 5am every day. So pretty much I have no night life anymore. I have no social life since everyone is working when Im off work. I have not been dating at all. NOTHING

Its been 3 months since I have been working nights. Its very hard labor. I didnt really get any raise when I went to nights. The only diff. was the amount of hours I was putting in. Total is about $150 extra a week for about 10-15 hours extra a week.

So recently I started talking to someone. Someone I was interested for years but we never went for it. Im getting older I feel And I want to calm down on being with so many different people (LA makes it easy to get carried away!! ) and somewhat settle down a bit.

So I have been doing a lot of thinking and I realized that there has not really been one single night that I have gone home and I was Some what happy or anything. About 90% of the time Im so tired and/or upset that we are getting out so late. Plain and simple working nights are depressing.

The only thing I can think of is try and get my old position back or apply somewhere else. If I ask for my old position back I feel pathetic doing so but to be frank, Working nights is just not for me. Any opinions positive or negative I would really be thankful. My job has put a strain on my friendship with friends so I cant even talk to them and Since I know a lot of you, I figured I talk to you.

ok ill shut up.

[1slo_camaro]

i kinda understand what your saying i mean dang im only 19 but im in the military and have nothing to look forward to when i get off work it really sucks i would defintaly take your old job back find the girl you like and get serious there will always be a job there somewhere but be careful you might let "THE ONE" slip through while having issues at work. im only 19 and i think i lost "THE ONE" we were together for 3 and a half years and once i signed up it started getting hard because i was away and all but enough about me. man just do what is gonna make you happy money doesnt make people happy if you have no one to share it with or time to spend it and a job will always be available leave night shift go back to your normal job come home to a beautiful loving girlfriend/fiance/wife and enjoy life gesh sounds like your gonna be lucky to see 23 without a heart attack man just do whats gonna make you happy. hope this helped out a little. if not take the TA out and have some fun you can always buy more rubbers!!





Burnouts/Dounuts=The World's Greatest Stress Relief!!

[Black97]

Well working nights isn't the easiest you found out. If pay was better maybe you could justify it somewhat.

At the end you need to do what's best for you and if it means to get your old job back, why not. It's your live and who gives a cr... as to what the others are going to say.

Or look around for an even better job. Currently you have all day to do so

[ConElite]

Thanks both for the comments. Yeah I Dont know about her being the one and all that but I have, as they say, Been around the block when it comes to dating. and Like Im sick of never keeping one for more than like say 2-3 weeks. Yeah I agree with you Black97 about if the pay was more then it would be justifiable. When I got the position I had just broken up with a some what serious girlfriend and didnt give a rats behind if I worked like a dog but I mean I spent like $2k+ on a home theater system. I mod my car like crazy and yes that stuff makes me very happy but like u said 1slo_camaro, its not fun if you have nobody to share it with. The great part about her is she wants to learn about my car. Shes a year older than me. She wants me to teach her how to drive stick and like all that.

But about myjob situation, Yeah Its really taking its toll on me. Its pretty bad. I was hoping to be able to hack it but Its just not for me. At times I just feel like joining the military and disapearing for a couple years. But I know I would just be depressed doing that to. Im going to give it a shoot and um i guess it would be today, Im going to go job searching. I have some pretty good damn skills so we'll see.

[Joe 1320]

It never hurts to shop around........ if you find a better deal, then you can go back to your employer and ask them to match the conditions. If they can't, then move on.

[Steel2686]

If working nights isn't for you... Then it isn't for you.

No offense to anyone here that works nights and enjoys it, but it's a different breed. I worked nights for about a year. There were two kinds of people at night... The group that loved working nights, and the group that hated it. I fell into the latter category.

I applied for a day position... Was told it would be at least six months before I even heard anything... So I left the company.

Start interviewing during the day. Apply to several places. There is no harm in seeing what's out there.

[Jeff 97SS]

I see nothing wrong with asking for your old job back. I left my job about 3 years ago to try something else, and I wasn't happy after a year so I struck a deal to get my old job back.

I just told my old employer that I felt that I had to give something different a try, and if I didn't I would have never known whether I liked it or not, which was the truth, and they seemed to be okay with that.

Good luck.

[MN6WS6]

I would talk to your employer first and see if they are willing to move you back to days. Explain the situation and how you are feeling about it, and if they care about your well being at all, they will find a way to make it work. You're not asking for the world, or a raise, or extra time off, just a shift change. It's much easier to change a shift than it is to train a new employee. They should go for it, especially since you're giving them the opportunity to do so. If you go out and look around first, then they think you're not happy with your work at all and they will probably can you.

I've never had to work a night shift, but I have had to move away for a job, and that crap is for the birds. I like where I live and I get along great with my friends, and no amount of money in the world would make me move away because I would be miserable. I'd rather be broke and happy than rich and miserable.

[ConElite]

Im at the point that Im going to give it a shoot and Send an email to my previous supervisor. Personally I am not happy working nights. I have applied for a couple different positions at some banks. Im going to a Desk Job. I have a friend that works for B of A and she gave me the heads up about what positions are available. I sent applications for there and for Wells Fargo. She works at the main branch and she makes good money. Plus She gave me pointers as to what they look for which is Great customer service skills, Communication skills and Computer literacy which is what I have. So she told me shes going to see if she can throw my name around. They start off around $35k-40k which is about $15k more than what I make now. So

[DJ Taso]

Steel is right about the different breeds. It Sounds like you're not a night person. Ask for your old position back and tell them that nights isn't working for you or start looking for somewhere else.

Oh, and you're only 22. Go out and live a little! The more you keep wanting to settle down and realize it's never going to happen any time soon, the more you'll get depressed.

The problem with most people is when they go out they expect to meet someone and when it doesn't happen, their whole night is ruined. Instead, go out but don't expect anything. The only thing you should focus on is having a good time with your friends and company. The rest will fall into your lap.

I would always tell myself when I was younger that I would be married with kids by 25. 25 came and went and now I'm 27. But ever since I stopped "expected" things to happen, life's been rockin' 'n rollin' for me!

[Dave M]

Where I work I do a month of days and a month of nights (both shifts are 6-6). Some people just aren't built for nightshifts, and I'm one of them! I hate nights and also find them depressing. I'm not much of a social butterfly and I have a family so the nightlife aspect doesn't really affect me, but it certainly affects my family life.

It's important to be able to pay the bills, but I think it's more important to be happy. Only you can judge if the extra money makes up for being miserable. Chancs are there is another option, one that will pay the bills and make you happy, or at least less depressed. Whether that be getting your old job back or finding a new one I can't really say. only you know your situation and what your happiness is worth.

Just know your not alone, and I'm working nights right there along with ya. Oh, and I also get to work christmas eve and christmas this year. Yay!

[Nightrage]

If you want to settle down, as obvious as this is, it's all about finding the right woman. My girlfriend is wife material. I knew that 4 1/2 years ago when we first started dating. That's why I'm still with her. Could I have been with 10 different women at my age? Sure. The question is, is some shortlived fun really worth potentially missing out on someone who I'd have enjoyed spending the rest of my life with? A lot of older people laugh at me when I tell this to them. They tell me that I'm too young to even be considering marriage and that I should have fun and be with tons of different girls at my age. After all, that's what they'd do if they were in my shoes "har har har" Usually these people have also recently gone through an absolutely brutal divorce. At my job, I deal with hundreds of older people. Part of my job is to pick customers up from their home, a mechanic shop, a body shop, whatever, and bring them back to our office. I also have to drive them back. You'd be surprised how quick people are to spill their guts with someone they'll know for grand total of 15 minutes while they're being driven somewhere. Most of the people who tell me how much they hate their spouse sound like they made the mistake of thinking with the wrong head when they met them (you know what I mean). The older people who are happily married always, always tell me that I'm smart for developing a strong relationship with a good girl while I'm young. They tell me that we can either work at it and grow together, basically grow up together and have an extremely good chance of living out the rest of out lives happily, or I can be a schmuck and throw it all away to have a few flings and one night stands. I'd personally rather be the older guy who's only really been with one woman, who may question what it would be like to be with another girl, but is overall happy enough with their partner that they don't care about being with another one, than the guy who slept with tons of women and is now going to try being with one person for, potentially, the rest of their life.

Bear with me for a minute. Think of a solid long term relationship as a job which may not seem all that glorious to anyone else, but gives you a strong sense of satisfaction, job security and a great pension waitin* for you when you retire. Now think about flings and one night stands as a job that pays really well but doesn't have a union or any true security, but you still want to take your chances because it might pay off in the end. Now think about hitting middle age. The guy with the union job is getting ready to retire, but he's not concerned. He's had a great run, he never had to worry about losing his job, he's about to retire and his job will still be there to take care of him thanks to life long benefits and a solid pension. He may have had some rough periods, but overall, things worked out. The other guy can have a few things happen. He may have had great luck and after a bunch of jobs, wound up with something that he really enjoyed. Maybe he had tons of fun when he was younger and lucked out when he got older. Now he's got a huge house and a Ferrari and lives in the lap of luxury. Alternatively (and more likely, I think), he's probably concerned about the future now. It was all fun and games, but now he's been layed off and with no union and no pension, he's left to pick up the pieces and hope for the best. He may have to move back home now with his parents, most of the friends he had at his job aren't there to help him out anymore. He didn't think about the long run and it's come back to bite him on the ass.

This may seem like a rediculous analogy, but I think it illustrates my point pretty well. You can find someone that you really enjoy being with who, maybe doesn't look like a model, but you love them and don't care about their flaws or what anyone else thinks about them. You trust this person, you're pretty certain that they're not going to cheat on you, you know they'll do the right thing when it comes down to it and you know they'll still be there to grow old with you. You'll probably love them more and more as time goes on. A lot of elderly people die not too long after their spouse does. They simply lose their will to live at that point. (although I've heard on several accounts that the reason men usually die before their wives is because they want to ). You can also take a chance, fool around with tons of girls when you're young and take your chances when you're older. Just remember that the older people get, the more luggage they usually carry with them. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky guys who had tons of flings as a kid and wound up marrying a gorgeous woman who he loves being with and will grow old with. Most people I meet who went this route wound up marrying a woman for all the wrong reasons, having a couple of kids and eventually wind up paying child support so they can see their kids every so often when they have visitation. All while wishing ill upon their ex.

If you have any really good female friends you might want to try dating one of them if possible. Make sure that you find someone you can really tolerate being around. I find the best thing to test this is just talking with them without any distractions. One on one, maybe out in your back yard at night. No other people and no distractions. If you find that you enjoy having conversations with them all alone together, you're interested in what they have to say and they're interested in what you have to say, it's a good start. If you find yourself thinking, "I think I've met rocks with a higher IQ, but I'd love to take her clothes off", you should probably call it a lost cause and move on. Find a few guys who really detest their spouse and analyze why that is. I bet you'll find that a few of them have something in common.

Take this with a grain of salt. I'm only 21 and I'm sure other people with more experience will throw in their two cents. I deal with tons of married and divorced people on a daily basis, but maybe I'm too young and niave too see something that other people are seeing. Good luck amigo

*Mods, I think there's a problem with the coding or something. You can't type the word wait'ing or n'one (minus the apostrophe) or you get and

[Joshu]

If you want to settle down.....

Wow man, wow. Nicely done.

[Blazer]

I work nights for 21 years an love it.But in May my house will be payed for an i will tell them to kiss my you know what.An every day will be the weekend.
Blazer

[ConElite]

Well I sent an email to my old supervisor to see what can be done. Im crossing my fingers. Ill keep you guys posted. Thanks a bunch NightRagefor the great pointers. As well as everyone else.