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Birds of a feather flock together, and crap on your car.
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If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
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Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
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A penny saved is a government oversight.
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The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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He who hesitates is probably right.
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Did you ever notice the Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
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If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody yet.
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If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
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The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
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There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
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Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
Birds of a feather flock together, and crap on your car.
----------------------------------------------------------
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
---------------------------------------------------------
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
----------------------------------------------------------
A penny saved is a government oversight.
----------------------------------------------------------
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
----------------------------------------------------------
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
----------------------------------------------------------
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
---------------------------------------------------------
He who hesitates is probably right.
---------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice the Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
---------------------------------------------------------
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody yet.
---------------------------------------------------------
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
---------------------------------------------------------
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
---------------------------------------------------------
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
---------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
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