nfb: honest...........

[wolfdogs]

Dear Friends and Family;

At this time of year, I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and
trouble to send me your chain letters over the past 12 months.


Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.


Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.


I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are
atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.


I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and
urine that could be on the can.


I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.


I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a
needle infected with AIDS.


I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo
on a hot day.


I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume
sample and rob me.


I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda
in disguise.


I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American
troops or the Salvation Army.


I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for
which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I no longer have any sneakers - but that will change once I receive my free
replacement pair from Nike.


I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their
recipe.


I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for
me and St Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.


Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (I don't
remember seeing that in the Bible anywhere.)


I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to
die in the hospital (for the 1,287,258th time).


I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000
that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail
program.


Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me that I
will now return the favor!


If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes,
a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (EST) this afternoon
and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy
hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician!


Honest!

[Rhode Island Red]

ok that was bad

[Joe 1320]

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo
on a hot day.

Well, now that explains it.





D&R

[WICKED LT1]

Don't forget to watch out for that new computer virus that empties your 401k and steals the last cookie out of the jar if you so much as read this message.

Dude, you make me laugh. Keep it up.


-Paul

[wolfdogs]

Don't forget to watch out for that new computer virus that empties your 401k and steals the last cookie out of the jar if you so much as read this message.

Dude, you make me laugh. Keep it up.


-Paul

where did you get your car from? i had an old friend here in VA that took a red 95 and did exactly what you have done to yours, including that black stripe! did you buy it new? he sold it a while back..and i have not talked to him in a long time......

[WICKED LT1]

where did you get your car from? i had an old friend here in VA that took a red 95 and did exactly what you have done to yours, including that black stripe! did you buy it new? he sold it a while back..and i have not talked to him in a long time......

I bought her from a local dealership almost 2 years ago. They got it on trade, supposedly from someone that bought a 'stang. Go figure. I have the Carfax around here somewhere, I'll look and see if there is an owner record from VA. I got it with the stripe. Kinda was attracted to it because of it. Something different.

-Paul