NFB: Wal-Mart Application

[Christopherrr]

WALMART APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal- mart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny.



NAME: George Martin

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

HAHAHA!!!

[96Camaro]

You totaly have to be kidding me

[Rhode Island Red]

That made my day . I wonder if snopes will verify it is true or not?

[TODD 2000 V6 CAMARO]

Could be worse. I applied to work at a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Greenville, Texas when I was going to university out there years ago. I got hired and while I was there for orientation, there was this guy sitting next to me that just didn't seem to be "all there." We were filling out the obligatory pre-employment forms and I swear he was looking over my shoulder like we were taking a test and he was cheating. Well, he gets to the part that asks who should be called in the event that he is injured on the job, and asks me.."What did you put for this one?" "I just put down 'mom' and gave her name." "Mom?" "Yeah." "How do you spell that?" "Uhmm....uh...M-O-M." "Oh, ok." Holy crap....looks like Wally World really goes for the cream of the crop when hiring. LOL I guess the guy on that application above must have been a welcome change.