HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports,
she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and
dip coming.
--Alan, age 10--Future chauvinist pig
No person really decides before they Grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with.
--Kirsten, age 10 -- Future religious nut
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
--Camille, age 10 -- Future divorcee
No age is good to get married at. You Got to be a fool to get married.
--Freddie, age 6 -- Future depressed 55 year old bachelor
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on Whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids.
--Derrick, age 8 -- Future dysfunctional husband
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
--Lori, age 8 -- Future insecure wife from lack of love
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON THE FIRST DATE:
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
--Lynnette, age 8 -- "True"
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
--Martin, age 10-- Future Casanova
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers
and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
--Craig, age 9 -- Future compulsive liar
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
--Pam, age 7 -- Future gold digger
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
--Curt, age 7 -- Future law officer
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and
have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
--Howard, age 8 -- Future pastor
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going
to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
--Theodore, age 8 -- Future homosexual
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to
clean up after them.
--Anita, age 9 -- Future wife of "pigpen" from Charlie Brown
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
--Kelvin, age 8 - Mr. Gullible
"And the #1 Favorite is........"
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a rusted, beat
up old truck.
--Ricky, age 10 -- Perfect husband!
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports,
she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and
dip coming.
--Alan, age 10--Future chauvinist pig
No person really decides before they Grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with.
--Kirsten, age 10 -- Future religious nut
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
--Camille, age 10 -- Future divorcee
No age is good to get married at. You Got to be a fool to get married.
--Freddie, age 6 -- Future depressed 55 year old bachelor
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on Whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids.
--Derrick, age 8 -- Future dysfunctional husband
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
--Lori, age 8 -- Future insecure wife from lack of love
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON THE FIRST DATE:
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
--Lynnette, age 8 -- "True"
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
--Martin, age 10-- Future Casanova
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers
and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
--Craig, age 9 -- Future compulsive liar
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
--Pam, age 7 -- Future gold digger
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
--Curt, age 7 -- Future law officer
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and
have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
--Howard, age 8 -- Future pastor
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going
to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
--Theodore, age 8 -- Future homosexual
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to
clean up after them.
--Anita, age 9 -- Future wife of "pigpen" from Charlie Brown
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
--Kelvin, age 8 - Mr. Gullible
"And the #1 Favorite is........"
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a rusted, beat
up old truck.
--Ricky, age 10 -- Perfect husband!
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