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the cowboy (nfb)

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  • the cowboy (nfb)

    A west Texas cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
    The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

    The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

    He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

    Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

    "You're a consultant for the National Democratic Party." says the cowboy.

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the cowboy.

    "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business........ Now give me back my dog."






    The Goldens: Reno and Rocky

    2008 C6, M6, LS3, Corsa Extreme C/B, (it flys) & 2008 Yukon loaded (Titanic), 03 Ford Focus..everydaydriver.

    Wolfdog Rescue Resources, Inc.:http://www.wrr-inc.org
    Home Page: http://www.renokeo.com
    sold: 97 Firehawk, 97 Comp T/A, 2005 GTO, 2008 Solstice GXP turbo.

  • #2
    haha, good sh*t lol

    2005 GTO, Quicksilver, 6-Speed, DynaTech LT's and thats it. 366.6 hp/366.7 tq last time I checked.
    Sold-1995 Dark GreenTrans Am, Auto 63K. BBK Headers/off-road y-pipe/Hooker Exhaust/LPI CAI/Hypertech...need some money!!!

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    • #3
      NOw if the Yuppi was a Republican he would have declared war on the farmed because the yuppie gave up on the chicken farmer that really screwed him over in the first place. AND kill more that 1000 Troops after he claimed victory.
      1967 VW Bug 2.3L Ford SVO Inline 4 w/ Turbo, Sand-Drag VW Trans Axle, Race this Import.
      2001 Dodge Ram 1500 Totally Stock

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      • #4
        Originally posted by wolfman
        "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business........ Now give me back my dog."
        LOL!!! It's funny cause it's true!
        black 95 t/a, a4, beefed up tranny w/ higher stall converter, transgo shift kit, trans temp gauge, trans cooler, richmond 3.73's, loudmouth, hypertech programmer, 160 thermo, descreened maf, TB bypass and airfoil, trick flow intake elbow, underdrive pulleys, moroso cai, edelbrock panhard rod, bmr stb, slp sfc's, fiberglass firehawk hood, hawk pads, taylor wires, ngk plugs, royal purple fluids,...and hopefully more to come

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Squat13
          NOw if the Yuppi was a Republican he would have declared war on the farmed because the yuppie gave up on the chicken farmer that really screwed him over in the first place. AND kill more that 1000 Troops after he claimed victory.
          you really do need to take your medication.............














          The Goldens: Reno and Rocky

          2008 C6, M6, LS3, Corsa Extreme C/B, (it flys) & 2008 Yukon loaded (Titanic), 03 Ford Focus..everydaydriver.

          Wolfdog Rescue Resources, Inc.:http://www.wrr-inc.org
          Home Page: http://www.renokeo.com
          sold: 97 Firehawk, 97 Comp T/A, 2005 GTO, 2008 Solstice GXP turbo.

          Comment

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