non f-body: need some help/support.....with women

[Kevin - Blown 95 TA]

DENIED...........................................i hate life

Thank God for alcohol. The best girl I ever had was when I was in the Navy, and her dad was retired Navy. Somehow, he got me sent 2700 miles away to a hellhole, the prick. I think he's dead now, but I plan to visit his grave someday just to piss on it. I feel your pain bro.

[PUREPWR]

I am kinda in the same situation you are in man. There was these two girls in my human sexuality class at school, and i thought that they were the most gorgeous girls ever right when i saew them on the first day of school. I promised my slef by the end of the semester that i would approach atlest one of them and get there number. One of them was even in my group that we split up into and i talked to her for a little bit, but never had the balls to ask for her number. But on the last day of class i promised my self i was going to ask for her number, but then i got a call that my uncle died and i had to hurry with the final and get home. I dont know whats with me.I normally have guts to approach a girl but i dont know. I just couldnt with this one. It has seriously been bothering me for 2 weeks now. Then i had a final the next day and even walked around campas looking for her but never foulnd her. But i do believe in fate and maybe we will by chance take the same class and she will sit next to me in a class and shell ask for my number.

[Jay 02 TA ws6]

DENIED...........................................i hate life

There is a girl that I work with. About a year ago, she was introduced to this guy through some friends and they went out for a night on the town. He was nice and attractive and everything, but the girl just wasn't feeling it... there wasn't much chemistry, and she felt like the guy was trying too hard to impress her. They never went out again.

Now... two nights ago, this girl was going to the Pistons game with some people from work (my company is the main sponsor of the Pistons). She was all excited at work, having girls check out her outfit, seeing how she looked, other girly stuff, etc etc... Yesterday she came in to work with a dozen yellow roses sitting on her desk, and everyone wanted the scoop. It turns out that she ran into the SAME guy at the game, they didn't talk a whole lot, but just a little. This girl was on CLOUD NINE all day yesterday. She kept parading around the office totally smitten with this guy that last time she went out with she didn't like at all. Someone asked her if she was going out with him again, she said, "HELL YES"... so it goes to show you that a little romance and a little persistence can pay off. I'm not this guy, I wish I was, because the girl is really quite hot and a lot of fun, but whoever he is, he definitely scored some big time points with that gesture.

Now, you might have fallen into the "best friends" trap, which would be unfortunate. I find myself there often. Unfortunately, if all she thinks about you as is a "friend", there isn't going to be a whole hell of a lot you can do here to change it.

Good luck though, at least you told her. That's more balls than I have had recently.

[Joe 1320]

Well...... ya never know what's going to happen. One thing I have found out, a little flirting goes along way. Many times they don't go for the direct approach. Evidently they must feel like persuit is a lust thing. Flirting a little bit here and there allows them to feel like they are in control and can act on it if they wish. Ironically when I was "looking" for someone, they were never there. As the years went by, I became more aloof and found myself being chased left and right by the cream of the crop. When I was feeling really burned by my divorce and wanted little to do with female companionship ( and I voiced that regularly), that's when I found myself being the object of everyone's attention. To give you an idea.... I'm now XX (fill in the blanks) years old and have 5 women half my age who just don't want to take no for an answer. They are all beautiful on the inside and outside, what you would call a prize catch..... the problem is that I am their father's age. It doesn't seem to matter to them. A very weird situation. the more I try to discourage, the more I am hunted. For the life of me, I can't figure out that one.

[Jay 02 TA ws6]

Well...... ya never know what's going to happen. One thing I have found out, a little flirting goes along way. Many times they don't go for the direct approach. Evidently they must feel like persuit is a lust thing. Flirting a little bit here and there allows them to feel like they are in control and can act on it if they wish. Ironically when I was "looking" for someone, they were never there. As the years went by, I became more aloof and found myself being chased left and right by the cream of the crop. When I was feeling really burned by my divorce and wanted little to do with female companionship ( and I voiced that regularly), that's when I found myself being the object of everyone's attention. To give you an idea.... I'm now XX (fill in the blanks) years old and have 5 women half my age who just don't want to take no for an answer. They are all beautiful on the inside and outside, what you would call a prize catch..... the problem is that I am their father's age. It doesn't seem to matter to them. A very weird situation. the more I try to discourage, the more I am hunted. For the life of me, I can't figure out that one.

It's simple Joe. Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest...

I'm not sure why you have a problem with girls half your age hunting you as long as they are the quality individuals you say they are. My friend once told me I need a wife who will still be good looking when she's 60. I said, "no, you've got that wrong. I need a wife who's still good looking when I'M 60." hehehehehe

[TODD 2000 V6 CAMARO]

I can relate to the being shot down, man. Been there, done that, got the heartache. But, "This too shall pass." You'll live, and hopefully won't be too bittered by the whole thing. I was the same way in HS and when I got into college. I got burned so many times searching for the right girl that I just flat gave up. I was DONE. I had always prayed for "someone, anyone...even if it is just for a while to have fun together!" Uhmm...yeah, got that...got attached, got hurt. So then I said, I am not looking anymore. Two years later, I meet this girl online. Just out of the blue messages me and says hi. We talked for like 2 hours that night. She was amazing! You could go down the list of personality traits I had said I wanted in a girl and just check them all off! Fast forward about 5 years.....I am living Canada, married to my dream girl who found me, not the other way around. I guess what I am saying is...I believe the whole saying that there is someone for everyone. I think when we stop tryng so hard and just be patient, amazing things can happen. Ya never know what can happen.....you may get together with this girl yet, or you may meet someone else next week, next month, next year, etc., who makes this girl just pale in comparison. But, you will find someone...or they might find you! Don't let it get you down too much. Your gonna be fine.

[Joe 1320]

I'm not sure why you have a problem with girls half your age hunting you as long as they are the quality individuals you say they are.

When I was growing up, I was basically raised by my grandparents. The older generation back then had such strict upbringing and values, you were supposed to date people your own age. It was taboo to "rob the cradle" so to speak. Perhaps it's me, perhaps it was the environment that I was brought up in, I'm not sure what started it. It is hard for me to imagine why these younger women don't want to be involved with guys their own age. The whole concept just doesn't make sense. They will still be looking great when I'm old and grey. That is something that they don't seem to grasp either. They just don't want to hear it, they say it doesn't matter, etc. I couldn't stand the thought that in my later years when my health is failing, they would still have so much life left and yet they would be burdoned with my health care. It just doesn't seem right, maybe I feel it's just too good to be true and that something must be wrong here. In any case it is flattering to have them turn their nose up at the young studs to persue me, but at the same time it makes me uncomfortable. Oh, if only I were 20 years younger things would be so much more simple.......

[Z Ya Later]

It is hard for me to imagine why these younger women don't want to be involved with guys their own age. The whole concept just doesn't make sense.

From what I've seen and dealt with, its not a physical thing. Its more of a maturity issue. Girls seem to gravitate more toward someone with their outlook, their thinking pattern and most importantly, at least their level of maturity. Now that either indicates immaturity on the part of the ladies or maturity on the part of the man, i.e. Joe in this case. Now, if we look at your situation Joe, it will become apparent which it is for you. You're a single parent who's there for your son, you're doing everything you can to get things back in order, you're a helpful guy, and the list goes on. When all this is stacked against age and even custom, age starts to become a number and custom a thing of the past. Whether its right or not is up to your heart and your head, not someone else's decisions.

As for the main topic here, just stick around with her. Buy her things for Christmas, remember her birthday, get her flowers on Valentine's Day, be there when she's down...she'll remember you for it. If you did hit the "best friends" category, it is still possible to get out of it. It takes work, struggling and tears, but it is possible. Hang in there...you never know what will be .

[azkkn]

im done, moving on and maybe even away. dont know yet, but plans are in the works

[Dave M]

the more I try to discourage, the more I am hunted. For the life of me, I can't figure out that one.

I wish I had Joe's problem!

[alenstein]

im done, moving on and maybe even away. dont know yet, but plans are in the works

You still didn't tell us what happend.

[RyanB58]

Azzkkn,
Move to STL. Whole lotta fun here, and lots of F-Bods round to beat up on the Crustangs. I usually roll out on saturday nights after a day on the water ridin skis and wakeboards to meet up at Sonic with about 20 other F-Bods. Some are just sick.

[DeWynter]

It's simple Joe. Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest...

Couldnt agree more, I always found it easier to find a new Girl friend when I had one! I belive this happens fore two reasons.
One: You have a much higher confidence level due to the fact thait if you strike out, it no big problem you still have a GF, while this sounds terrible what Im really getting at is the ladies love confidence!
Two: Women always want what they cant have. (eg. Diamonds Gold etc.) You can give them a bit of what they want but not all or they will look for something else. This has been the the case for all of history. Worst thing you can do is make a woman think your not worth a chase, or boring.

Best thing a guy can do is have awsome confidence, this is not the same as being self centered. Next is make your self seem mysterious or forbiden in some way.

Or for he backup:
Just tell them some really sad sappy story about something in your life and tell them that they are the only one you have ever told it to.

[Joe 1320]

I wish I had Joe's problem!

Believe me, no you don't. It sounds like a nice idea, but in reality it is a PITA. As you get older, the way you look at things and the world is very much different than what you thought like at 20 years younger. I believe that these younger women are looking more for someone like their father than an actual equal partner. The attraction of someone that has already been around the block appears more comforting and less of an unknown than the inexperience of youth. Then again, I could be completely off in left field as I am probably in better shape physically than 95% of the yound studs.

[raroZ28]

Come on Joe, how old are ya? You got me curious lol. I personally love younger girls. I'm 20. I like 'em 18 and up. I would date a 17 y/o, but that's pushin' it.